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This is the final entry in a four-part series that explores four questions: (1) What are we doing here? (2) Who is leading? (3) Who owns this place? (4) Who belongs? Aftab Omer  ,  President of  Meridian University , shared these “archetypal” questions while we were planning the annual gathering of the  Global Learning and Exchange Network  (GLEN) with the founders of the GLEN, David Sibbet and Gisela Wendling, and fellow GLEN members  Karen Buckley  and  FireHawk Hulin. “Wh

This is the third entry in a four-part series that explores four questions: (1) What are we doing here? (2) Who is leading? (3) Who owns this place? (4) Who belongs? Aftab Omer  ,  President of  Meridian University , shared these “archetypal” questions while we were planning the annual gathering of the  Global Learning and Exchange Network  (GLEN) with the founders of the GLEN, David Sibbet and Gisela Wendling, and fellow GLEN members  Karen Buckley  and  FireHawk Hulin. Jus

This is the second entry in a four-part series that explores four questions: (1) What are we doing here? (2) Who is leading? (3) Who owns this place? (4) Who belongs? Aftab Omer  , President of Meridian University , shared these “archetypal” questions while we were planning the annual gathering of the Global Learning and Exchange Network (GLEN) with the founders of the GLEN, David Sibbet and Gisela Wendling, and fellow GLEN members Karen Buckley and FireHawk Hulin. The sec

This is the first entry in a four-part series that explores four questions: (1) What are we doing here? (2) Who is leading? (3) Who owns this place? (4) Who belongs?  Aftab Omer ,  President of  Meridian University , shared these “archetypal” questions while we were planning the annual gathering of the  Global Learning and Exchange Network (GLEN)  with the founders of the GLEN, David Sibbet and Gisela Wendling, and fellow GLEN members  Karen Buckley  and  FireHawk Hulin .  T

Conversations, aka meetings, are the sine qua non of organizations and communities. They are how things get done. “Is there anything that matters that isn’t done through conversations?” asks Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan, authors of The Three Laws of Performance . Planning, problem solving, policy setting, coaching or staying up-to-date with colleagues: all of these occur through conversations. In addition, meeting conversations feed into other ones. Managers develop a recomm

A friendly emptiness? That sounds paradoxical. Let me explain. In my blogs I write about how to include and interact effectively with those who might, at least on the surface, differ from us. Perhaps I am naïve in still believing this is desirable and possible. In the last few years we have seen a dramatic increase in language, law and policy that seeks to divide us into categories where some are included and others excluded or treated as “less than.” Yet, I still believe t

Once they squeaked by the Houston Rockets, it was predictable that the Golden State Warriors would squash the Cleveland Cavaliers in the National Basketball League Finals. For those of you who are not basketball fans bear with me for a moment. Let me show you how lessons from basketball can make your meetings more effective. I begin with a personal note. I was born and raised in Springfield, Massachusetts where basketball was invented by Dr. James Naismith in 1891, and where

This entry* on attention is the final one of a five-part series on what we know about the impact of contemplative practice on the human brain and the relevance of these findings to doing meaningful work in groups. The  first  entry introduces this series and describes the impact of meditation on whether we can respond effectively to disturbing events instead of reacting to them. The  second  one investigates resilience; the  third  considers empathy and compassion; and the  f

This entry on attention is the fourth in a five-part series. The series describes what we know about the impact of contemplative practice on the human brain and the relevance of these findings to doing meaningful work in groups. The  first entry  introduces this series and describes the impact of meditation on whether we can respond effectively to disturbing events instead of reacting to them. The  second entry  investigates resilience and the  third  considers empathy and co

This entry on empathy and compassion is the third in a five-part series. The series describes what we know about the impact of contemplative practice on the human brain and the relevance of these findings to doing meaningful work in groups. The  first entry  introduces this series and describes the impact of meditation on whether we can respond effectively to disturbing events instead of reacting to them. The  second entry  investigates resilience. One of the most popular an

This entry on resilience is the second in a five-part series. The series describes what we know about the impact of contemplative practice on the human brain and the relevance of these findings to doing meaningful work in groups. The first entry  introduces this series and describes the impact of meditation on whether we can respond effectively to disturbing events instead of reacting to them. Over forty years ago, I started dabbling with meditation because I became frustra

This entry is the first in a five-part series. It will describe what we know about the impact of contemplative practice on the human brain, and the relevance of these findings to doing meaningful work in groups. For 15 years I’ve been tracking the impact of meditation on the human brain and its potential to help people be more constructive in meetings. In my work as a leader, consultant and facilitator it seems to me that the impact of fear and anger on people’s ability to i

Roger James and I rose before dawn to drive 30 minutes to a favorite hiking trail before it became too hot to hike. It was a cool and colorful dawn with pink contrails criss-crossing the sky. (We are taking a break from the cold rains of Northern California in the deserts of the south.) As we approached the trailhead we noticed that the palm trees were leaning over in wind that had been predicted to be one mile an hour. This was more like 20. Unprepared for cold, blowing, san

We keep makin' the same mistakes Over and over and over and over again And then we wonder why We're in the shape we're in —From “Frail Grasp on the Big Picture” by The Eagles The lyrics of this 2007 Eagles song* remind me how quickly any one of us can get lost in the detail of a moment and lose sight of the big picture in which the detail is occurring.  For many it is habit of mind, a constant internal nattering, particularly when things are or are not as we want them to be.

In a recent conversation with a close friend I noticed I was getting angry and decided to “go to the balcony”* so I could avoid blurting out something I would later regret. This helped me take a broader view of what was actually going on and remember how important this friend is to me. “Going to the balcony”—as if you were looking down on an interaction from the distance of a balcony—can change your perspective and your emotion about it. Because emotions arise before we are

Recently during a workshop on mindful communication, Russell Delman  asked an evocative question: “What is ‘waiting?’” We wait in line to pay for items in a grocery store; we wait on the phone to talk to a live human being, and women in particular often wait to use public restrooms. While we wait, many of us get agitated, wanting this moment to end so the next thing can happen: return home with groceries, talk to a real person, or relieve ourselves. We want to stop waiting

To begin 2018 I offer two pieces on how to counter talk that undercuts and damages our ability to interact in constructive ways. The first one, Tackling Toxic Talk , considered how to stop toxic talk in the work place. This one explores how to handle talk that cuts close to people’s core: degrading comments about race, ethnicity, gender, age and sexual orientation. When faced with degrading comments about anyone’s race, ethnicity, gender, age, or sexual orientation, what’s t

To begin 2018 I offer two pieces on how to counter talk that undercuts and damages our ability to interact in constructive ways. This first one considers how to stop toxic talk in the work place. The next one explores how to handle talk that cuts close to people’s core: degrading comments about race, ethnicity, gender, age and sexual orientation. I wish you a wonderful New Year, -Mary   “Public statements are not private,” asserts a respected colleague and friend, Ron White

Roger and I have organized our last newsletter of 2017 in the Four Rivers of Life that we learned from Angeles Arrien (1940-2014) during our many years of study with her. According to Angeles, many traditional societies believe that these rivers—Inspiration, Challenge, Surprise and Love—sustain and support us. They also connect us to greater gifts like appreciating one’s life and making sure we are living the life we desire and dream. River of Inspiration Working with the  G

I appreciate students and clients who, through their questions or disagreements, invite me to rethink and reconsider what I say and espouse. This happened recently after a two-day workshop on communication and meeting skills with the staff of a governmental agency. I had reviewed the Ladder of Inference to help people learn how to give effective feedback by separating observable behavior (what they see and hear, e.g., when you interrupt me) from inferences or judgments about